So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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