I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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