I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
