There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
