During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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