evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
