Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize