you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
