If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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