she is the kim kardashian of front butts
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
