Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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