We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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