Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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