i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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