Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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