He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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