Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
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