ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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