you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize