You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize
