Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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