If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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