You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
