i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
