So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
