Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
if i can run in heels then i can drive
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize