Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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