I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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