4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
