bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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