remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
