i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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