Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize