Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
