we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
A+ Viking dick
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
