I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
