Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
