You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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