in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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