I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
