Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
