Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
