No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
