Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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