thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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