You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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