Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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