Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize