My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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