He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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