youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
