So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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