i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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