And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
