So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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