Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
