My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
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