apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize