Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
