Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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